


I'm so sorry, but I love you

by RallidaeOnegai



Category: The Yogscast
Genre: M/M, Minecraftia, My First Work in This Fandom, a wee bit of angst, the finest Sips Co. branded dirt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-14
Updated: 2016-06-14
Packaged: 2018-07-15 00:39:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7198268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RallidaeOnegai/pseuds/RallidaeOnegai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sips is a wandering lumberjack. Sjin is a naked man wearing with nothing but a leather thong and a smile. There is a hovel, some dirt, a helluva lot of money, and, like all stories, an end.</p><p>... right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm so sorry, but I love you

Sips is a wandering lumberjack. A free man with nothing but a chequered flannel shirt and a song on his lips.  
  
A man with nothing but a leather thong and a smile sits comfortably on the side of the road, his legs spread wide and completely unselfconscious.  
  
"Hey," Sips challenges him after a pause, wary but intrigued.  
  
"Hey there," the naked man replies, "You look like you could use a friend."  
  
Sips wants to disagree because he is young and brash and dammit if he doesn't need anyone else.

...But then again, he's never had a friend. Maybe he could use one after all.  
  
"Alright then," he gruffly puts out his hand after another brief pause, "I'm Sips."  
  
"Sjin."  
  
They shake.

 

* * *

  
Sips is surprised when Sjin gathers enough brush for one bed as they make camp in a tiny cave.  
  
"It's for warmth, Sips," Sjin explains simply, "What you gonna do when you wake up with your butt frozen off from the cold?"  
  
"Hey! I'll have you know, my ass is smokin'."  
  
"Don't I know it!"  
  
They laugh and Sjin pats the space next to him. Sips tries to hide his nervousness by climbing in.

 

* * *

  
There is silence and darkness and Sips pretends to be asleep.  
  
"Sips," Sjin whispers like a sigh, "Are you awake?"  
  
He doesn't reply and hopes the man will leave well enough alone. Without warning, Sjin shifts onto Sips' side of the bed and snuggles into his back. Sips is about to jump up with a shrill yelp and harsh demands, but freezes when Sjin puts his arm around Sips' waist and buries his face into the back of Sips' neck. He breathes deep and lets out his breath slowly like it's his last one on earth.  
  
"What happens in the hovel, stays in the hovel," Sjin lilts softly like butterfly wings. Sips thinks that he can feel the gravity of galaxies in the heavy tone of that voice. It lays about his wildly pumping heart, and he tries to ignore the feeling of tears soaking the pillow underneath them.

 

* * *

  
Sips soon learns that very little surprises Sjin.  
  
"Oh no!" Sjin would cry, his concern dripping the sort of fake sincerity you use on your aunt, "The house is on fire! Quickly Sips! Get the buckets!"  
  
Sips laughs and laughs and laughs while Sjin scrambles around with buckets and there's water everywhere but on the fire.  
  
They sit together in a puddle, wet and watching the fire burn itself out, as if didn't really mean anything.

 

* * *

  
"How do you build so fast, Sjin?"  
  
"It's pretty easy Sips. You could do it too, you know."  
  
"Yeah, I can build like, four walls and a door. But you, Sjin. It's like you already know what the house is supposed to look like and all I gotta do is get you some wood."  
  
"Are you offering me your wood Sips?"

 

* * *

  
Very little surprises Sjin, but Sips succeeds sometimes.  
  
"Sips. Did you just kill Aloysius."  
  
His voice is quietly astonished and his questions are statements like he can't take in the reality of the dead cow at their feet and the bloody sword in Sips' hands.  
  
"What?" Sips asks nonchalantly, wiping the blade on the fur of his misdeeds, "I want burgers. And there are always more cows, Sjin."

 

* * *

  
Their first kiss is a surprise.  
  
They have been together for a year now, and Sips finds his eyes following Sjin as they go about their daily business: small, meaningless projects that keep them exactly here, next to each other and nowhere else.  
  
When he realises, Sips berates himself because it seems silly to have this sort of high school crush on his friend.  
  
But then Sjin is looking up at him with his big, impossibly blue eyes and Sips' heart does back flips until it sits in his throat like a lump.  
  
"Goddammit Sjin," he curses despairingly, "Goddammit."  
  
In a fit of pique, he grabs Sjin by the shirt collar and presses their lips together. It is haphazard and chapped and demanding but Sjin seems to know exactly what Sips means and kisses back just as desperately.  
  
Their first kiss is the best kind of surprise.  
  
But Sips can only wonder for whom the surprise was.

 

* * *

  
"Sjin, I gonna to make a company that makes dirt. We can call it, Sips Co. and export Premium Quality, Sips Co. Branded Dirt.

(You'll be the janitor of course.)

Think about it Sjin.

Everyone always needs dirt when they least expect it! We'll make millions!"  
  
They are digging a hole to look for useful minerals and dumping any dirt off to the side. Sips always says things like this and the banter back and forth has always dulled the monotony of work. Usually, Sjin is pretty quick on the uptake and replies with something equally stupid and they laugh. But this time, Sjin is uncharacteristically quiet and Sips pauses with his pick to look over at his best friend.  
  
Sjin's eyes are wide and serious. He's dropped his shovel but he's smiling wider than ever before and Sips swears there's a little twinkle of a tear in Sjin's blue eyes.  
  
"Big money, big women, big fun," Sjin replies simply like a mantra, "Let's do it".  
  
Sips feels that gravity in his heart that anchors him down into the roots of his teeth. He tells himself that this is what love is, and he smiles back.

 

* * *

  
"And Sjin?"

"Yes boss?"

"I want a pool."

"No problem, boss."

 

* * *

  
Sips Co. explodes into Minecraftia like a bomb.  
  
Despite the ridiculousness of the half-baked idea, the orders roll in and Sips Co. branded dirt ( _dirt_ of all things) sells like hot cakes across the land.  
  
There are competitors of course. No company rise like theirs has without making a few enemies along the way. They have to restart the company from scratch a couple of times whenever the dumbasses from Honeydew Inc. manage to get their greasy, jaffa-encrusted mitts around the door.  
  
But Sjin always seems to know exactly where the find the right people, take the right actions and build the right buildings. Before long, all Sips has to do is sit in his magnificent office, with a tiny cube of the finest Sips Co. dirt like a trophy on his desk, plotting meaningless revenge and watching the _billions_ roll in to his bank account.

 

* * *

  
"Sjin, I want you to build me an underground roller coaster to lead those effing girl guides right to my office."  
  
"On it, boss."

 

* * *

  
Sometimes at night, they lie panting in each others arms.  
  
"Please," Sjin whimpers.  
  
Nails are being raked through hair, tongues are tracing the contours of skin, teeth are biting into lips. They are crushed together like peas in a pod, like apples in a barrel, like the dirt within their acres and acres of warehouses. They burn together in the flames only passion makes and Sips can hardly tell where he ends and Sjin begins.  
  
"Please," Sips echos it back.  
  
They beg each other for an ending to a beautiful story that Sips isn't sure they're really a part of.

 

* * *

  
"Sjin... let's fly to the moon."  
  
"... Right away, boss."

 

* * *

  
Sips is restless.  
  
Sjin can tell.  
  
Sips knows that Sjin knows, but they both know that it's better to pretend not to notice.

 

* * *

  
The night that he leaves, the moon hangs full and pregnant in the sky like an enormous spotlight on a stage that wasn't prepared for any of it.  
  
They eat an otherwise ordinary dinner of burgers and chips, but it's the best damn meal Sips' has ever had. Sjin had really outdone himself: he'd seasoned the beef patty with herbs from the house garden and seared it to perfection. The lettuce was crisp and the tomatoes not soggy. The chips were crunchy and salty and the burger buns were fresh from the oven.  
  
As Sjin does the dishes in the kitchen, Sips stares unblinkingly out at the silence of the night from their sky island with his chin in his hands.  
  
"I'm going up," Sjin emerges with a soft smile, drying his hands on a tea towel, "You gonna come to bed soon?"  
  
"In a bit," Sips replies.  
  
"Okay, don't stay up too late," Sjin loops his arms Sips' neck and presses a small kiss to his temple, "I love you, Sips."  
  
Pause.  
  
"Yeah, I love you too."  
  
A beautiful base in the sky, a multi-billion dollar business, the most gorgeous partner, a pool: Sips has everything. It still amazes him that the more he has, the less alive he feels. He looks down at his hands, soft with complacency and easy living. He remembers a different lifetime when it was just him and his trusty axe against the whole world.  
  
He remembers when he was free.  
  
His heart aches.

 

* * *

  
He stuffs the last of the bread rolls into a pack.  
  
He doesn't look back.  
  
He digs flannel and old jeans out of a chest in the attic. The buttons expand to near bursting around his soft, flabby body, but it'll do. There's a sapphire axe leaning against the door. He grabs it.  
  
He doesn't look back.  
  
In the window of their bedroom, Sjin is watching him stride purposefully away from everything they've built together, expression blank and unreadable.  
  
He doesn't even look back.

 

* * *

  
"This isn't going to work."  
  
It's 2 a.m. and they are under the farmhouse. The air is freezing and their breaths breathe clouds of condensation into the wiring and machinery littering the floor, the walls, the ceiling.  
  
Xephos has on his most sceptical expression as Sjin pulls the last levers and press the last buttons.  
  
An series of engines pinned to the back wall spin to life.  
  
**Warning. Sixty seconds to time jump.**  
  
Sjin is wearing his orange spacesuit again. Xephos had last seen it in the back of the wardrobe, rolled into a tight ball and jammed between rolls of old socks, as if that could hide the laughter and the tears and the memories embedded in the wrinkles and stains.  
  
It had been ironed and dry cleaned. It now lies flat and smooth against Sjin's body like a second skin.  
  
**Warming. Twenty seconds to time jump.**  
  
"Sjin!"  
  
Sjin ignores the plea in Xephos' voice and stands on the threshold of three years of blood, sweat and tears. The capsule rumbles awake and the door opens slowly with a pneumatic hiss that fills the room with the smell of ozone. It reveals a small, dark space, just big enough to fit one person.  
  
In his desperation, Lewis grabs onto Sjin wrist and tries to pull the man away. But Sjin must be made of marble and ice because he doesn't budge a muscle and the frigidity of his skin strikes straight into Lewis' core.  
  
**Warning. Ten seconds to time jump.**  
  
"This isn't going to change anything!" Xephos shrieks over the roar of the engines, his knuckles white against the shimmery fabric of Sjin's suit. But it's too slippery. He can't hang on. He lets go.  
  
_He's still going to leave you._  
  
The words hang heavy and unsaid like millstones around their necks.  
  
_Again._  
  
Sjin finally looks back. His mouth is set in a grim line and his eyes are blind with determination.  
  
"I know," Sjin replies.  
  
And closes the door.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading my first forays into this wonderful fandom. Yogscast fanfiction is something I've always known would be there but only something I picked up earlier this year and I've been blown away and inspired by the many wonderful works that I've read on both AO3 and tumblr. 
> 
> I am absolutely in love with the Sips/Sjin dynamic and I've read many works on AO3 and elsewhere which depict it so achingly beautifully that I decided to try a hand at it myself. I hope I have done it justice with my own take on their lives in Minecraftia. I would definitely appreciate any comments and constructive criticisms anyone feels like they might have.
> 
> Thank you again~


End file.
